Strange "thinks" aka part 5

As I have been writing down memories of childhood,  I am forced to admit I am missing years . I have been aware for many years that I do not remember anything about the years of 23-26. But going back further, I can see long periods of time that I have no recollection of at all. I don't know if it is from disassociation or just supressed. Then there are other times that I recall but that don't seem real at all, sort of pushed by the wayside. One of those is when I married a psychopath/wifebeater/bordeline personality putz. I must have been at a very low point then. But I barely recall that 10 year span, I guess that is a good thing. Two things I remember are when he fragmented my nose. You have mostly cartilage in your nose, but at the very top is a little bone that protrudes slightly , that is what he fragmented, he broke it in 5 pieces, oh well, I always wanted a nose job anyway, and since I worked in a hospital, our insurance covered 80% because it wasn't considered cosmetic, then the plastic surgeon said if I would do it at the primary hospital he worked at, he would give me even more of a discount( you usually get a "proffessional courtesy" discount). I had no problem with that and ended up with a 3800.00 nose job for 83.00!!! That was pretty cool. The second thing that I very clearly remember is  lying on the floor of the kitchen and him beating my head on the floor. He was using my hair to pound my head, and he was pulling out tons of hair. When I swept it up later it filled a shopping bag, of course if it had been compacted in there it wouldn't look like so much. I used to have very thick hair, even tho it is baby fine. Now it's about half as thick. I supported this jerk for the entire 10 years we were married..he would get a job and it might last the day. He did have one job that lasted a year, but he got fired and the excuse was that he had lied about his criminal record. Well that is neither here nor there, but once I decided that I would no longer support him, it pretty  much went downhill from there ( major sarcastic tone). I did two things for him that he should be very grateful for, I got him  enough information that he was able to get his Marine Corps discharge changed from dishonorable to general, which meant that he could go to school and collect money on the G. I. Bill.  Since he already knew how to weld, he took welding classes to get a certification and the government paid for it. Of course he decided that isn't what he wanted to do. He decided that he wanted to be a truck driver like his dad. I was checking out different programs that the state offered. One is a rehabilitation program that anyone in the state could use. They had a truck driving program and then they let you use their truck to take the diving test in.The fact that he already knew how to drive a truck( his dad taught him when he was a kid)made the program a piece of cake. He finally got a job driving cross country and also picked up a girl whose father owned a truck stop in New Mexico. I should look her up and send her a thank you note, she is welcome to him and all his b.s.
This lack of memory goes back pretty far, I remember  the first school that I went to, but all I remember is that we had little cots to "nap" on, so that we didn't have to sleep  on the floor, and that there was a fireplace in the room. Thats all I remember about the 1st year.I have one vague memory of the 3rd grade, neither here nor there, I remember the 4th  grade because the teacher was a cool guy, even if he did believe in corporal punishments.  His name was Mr. Morita and he was from Hawaii. We learned a whole lot about Hawaii, he even told us about the bombing of Pearl Harbor because he lived there and was 7 years old at the time. That is pretty detailed memory.I don't remember grades 5,6,or most of 7th. 8th I remember because that was the very first time I went to the same school for the whole year. High school I vaguely remember, but it's pretty fuzzy. I remember the day JFK got shot, I was at school and heard  a radio talking about him getting shot, it must have just happened. So I went into my next class and told everyone that the president had been shot. I was a class clown type so people didn't believe me, until about 2 minutes later when the announcement came over the P.A. It really  kind of annoys me to not have clear memories of growing up, since I can remember earlier things so well.Not enough to go back to therapy tho :o)  !


part 4

Since  we were allowed to wander at will, we played in the avocado groves most of the time. The only bad part is that people used to dump junk in there, and it was soon covered with leaves. Our grove and everybody elses ran together, there were no real demarcation lines.Anyway, I was playing in the next door grove, with the cult kids, barefoot as usual, and I jumped on a pile of leaves and landed on some shutters with nails in them, of course being the graceful little gazelle that I was, I managed to land on the nails, 5 rusty nails, 4 in one foot and 1 in the other. I was about 3 1/2 @ the time. I was afraid to tell anyone because I thought I would get in trouble because I had taken my shoes off. A couple of days later my mom was giving me a bath and she saw my feet and freaked out. I was in the Doctors office the next day, getting a tetanus shot...I was NOT happy about that!
After that we went back and got the shutters and pulled all the nails out and waxed the heck out of one side of the shutters and used them to "sled" down the tiers, so it had a good outcome. We also used to play in the oil fields because my grandpa worked there, they had lots of horses wandering around on the property, which of course made it thrilling to any little kid. My grandpa worked there because his cousin owned the fields, now here is the weirdest true thing  about my family I can tell you, at least that isn't a rather negative thing. His cousin was named Getty, as in J. Paul Getty,  rich guy extrordinaire. I never met any of them so it is only like a little footnote in my history. This guy looked just like my grandpa, their mothers we sisters. He owned a castle in England, it had been Anne Boleyns  home at one time, the cheap guy installed a pay phome because too many people came and made long distance calls from his house. Now if I were a multi-billionaire, I woulda let that slide, I think.
Here is something weird that I remember,when we lived in this house, I use to have hallucinations, there were always people running around the ceiling in the bedroom. Now most people will say, " no that was your over active imagination, it was just a dream". I will disagree with them forever, I was wide awake , I could be in or out of bed and still see and talk to them.
Why the hell would a laxative company make their product to look just like a Hershey bar( at least to a little kid)? Yep, that was me, the kid that ate an entire package of ExLax, becase it was a "candy bar".Anyway  the adults noticed that I had some chocolate on my face and asked me about and I told them that I ate the candy bar they "hid" in the bathroom. Mom says, show me and I did. They freaked and called the doc, who said just watch her. If that had happened today, I would have ended up in the hospital on an IV. I am surprised that I didn't die from that, since it would throw off the electrolytes and dehydrate you  terribly. I really don't know how I survived my childhood, I was a fearless in all things, except for being around people I didn't know, pretty much still very shy with strangers, but I am better now because I usually answer the phone or the door now, which I didn't for many years.  I find that I have different "me's", not that I am saying I am MPD( multiple personality disorder) but when I worked, I worked in jobs that I had to constantly interact with strangers and had no problem doing so, but as soon as I was in a different environment, I retreated to my other, painfully shy self. It was that way in school, I once walked out of a class because the teacher wanted me to stand in front of the class and speak for 2 minutes...couldn't do it, left school over it, that was my 1st year of high school.. aw, I digress yet again!  Well, now we are all bored, so I will go clean house, and watch the guys undecorate the outside of the house before it rains( a daily occurance here in the winter, at least it hasn't snowed here (yet) . I feel so sorry for you in Europe and the east coast here!