part 3

Ahhh, Christmas is over,now things can get back to their usual abnormality. Anyway  I was still living in the avocado grove, which was really a fab place to play, all the trees  were planted on tiers, it was a great forest of trees, about 3 acres worth and we were allowed to play in there to our hearts content. The garage backed up to the grove and we used to climb up and play on the roof, no one ever stopped us from playing anywhere. I don't think I would have let my 3 year old play on the roof, climb trees or wander around unsupervised, but times were different then. We used to see movies all the time and they influenced the games we played..yeah, people had to use their imaginations back then. Anyway this house had what you call a daylight basement in it, that means half was underground and the front was open to the yard, My grandpa had huge woodworking shop down there, and my grandma had a room she put all the food she canned  down there. She always had huge bags of old clothes that we used to costume ourselves in. Here is somethng I just thought of that happened in that house, and it illustrates what a hard headed kid I was. Gran had new wallpaper installed in her bedroom, I remember what it looked like to this day, it was darkish green with big pink flowers on it, very late 40's early 50's looking stuff . She had a dressing table in that room that she had make up on, lipstick, cream rouge, cold cream and  whatever other greasy stuff they used in 1951. I promptly decorated the new paper with it. My mother broke a wooden coat hanger over my butt. That pissed me off, so brainy me does it again for revenge, she breaks hanger number 2 over my arse.One more time, we both repeated our actions. I decided that wasn't the way to get revenge, so I climbed up in the bed with my favorite tool, a pair of scissors, and made cut outs of the sheets and blankets...that was a habit I had according to my mother. All I know is that I had 3 wooden coat hangers busted on me in one day.
I used to cut my hair off, if I ever  saw any scissors laying around, eventually they learned to put that stuff away. The first time I did that was before we moved out of the city and I was 2, I remember this stuff, I had long finger curls( which I hated)  So I was taking a nap ( ha! I rarely slept then or now)my gran had been embroidering something  but went outside to hang up the wash...DAA-DAH, I cut all my hair off, my mother took me to the barber shop and got me a boys haircut...I loved it, everyone thought I was my brothers twin, which to my 2 year old mind was a fabulous thing. Funny thing is everyone always thought my brother was such a beautiful baby girl, even in boys clothing and boy haircuts...damn, people are so dumb! Of course he was very pretty, I, on the other hand, honestly looked as if I were a Downs Syndrome kid. Last time I made that remark, people got very upset, but I have seen my baby pictures. 
Hey, I hope you all have a fabby New Year...I will have to wake up "grandpa" at midnight ,'cos he is such a day guy... but I will be awake and have a wee drinkie, my annual taste!


part 2

I guess if I start at the beginning, the first things I can remember is wearing a diaper(nappy) and my dad's cowboy boots and "playing" his guitar. I was pretty young less than 2 because my parents got divorced when I was 2. We went to live in a boarding house for awhile,the man was a proffessional fisherman, his wife stayed home and did boarding house stuff. My mom got a job and then we moved to an apartment, what I remember about that place was that it had a very old time  gas stove in it, you had to light it with a match, and it stood on tall skinny legs, it was pale yellow and light green, I have looked for a picture of one, but so far no luck. Then we moved in with my mothers parents so that my gram could watch us while mom worked, that was the house down the block from the other grandparents.I remember that house,better than the one I lived in, but I remember them both somewhat. My mother went to work before we got up and usually got home after we went to bed, so we spent all most all of our time with grandparents, as my father was pretty much absent from our lives. I wonder if he is alive sometimes, if he is, he is going to be 82 in March, his birthday is a week before mine. I know  he moved to Georgia 41 years ago, that was the last we heard from him, but it was not a big deal, I guess because he never showed any interest in his 1st 2 children..he had to replacements with his second wife, so those were the ones he cared for. Anyway, he is pretty immaterial in my lifescheme.
While we still lived with our grandparents in the city, I got a little black puppy, a Cocker Spaniel, named it Candy, have no idea why. I think she was a 3rd birthday present. I really loved that dog, but had a bad habit of using it's drinking water to make mud "pies"They kept telling me not to do it, but I was always hardheaded. One day the dog was gone and I was told she had run away because I was bad and always left her without water to drink.  I found out when I was about 10 that my grandfather had taken her to work with him and gave her to someone. I never forgot or forgave that, I think if they had told me the truth, that I was too young for a dog and that they sent it to live with someone I would have gotten over that. My grandfather was one of those old guys that thought that my brother walked on water, I was always told well J can do it because he's a boy or because he was older (25 months older, bfd!!!)
My brother was an interesting subject, he was a couple of years older, but he used to send me in to turn on the lights when it was dark, he also slept with his eyes open, I remember socking him in the head because I would talk to him and he wouldn't answer. Hey, a 3 year old doesn't know you can sleep with your eyes open, I just thought he was not answering to be mean. Shortly after I turned 3 my moms parents had a house built on their avocado ranch, so we moved out to the country with them. Of course since my mother worked in the city and we lived out there, we basically just saw her on the weekends.  more to follow... disjointed as this is, it is just how my brain works...I have been so hyper this week it is hard to sit here this long ttfn!


Wandering through my mind

I was reading Diana's blog, where she was talking about how the past has shaped her, she was remembering old boyfriends. I don't have that many interesting people that I know, at least not in real life.But blog friends are great and so much more interesting, maybe it's because they are mostly writing to amuse themselves, or at the very least people they don't know irl, or family. My family is/was very strange, I know my mother is dead, she died in 2001, I read it online, honestly I was playing around on a social security page and just typed in her name for giggles, and there it was, she had been dead for 4 or 5 years( closeknit lot, weren't we?)  It felt weird to read that,not sad or anything, it wasn't like she was much of a mother, I hadn't lived at home since I was 15, as I went out on a date and didn't come home for 3 days, she decided that I should continue my date from then on, and put my clothes on the porch so I would get the hint.Not that big a deal, really. It was an exciting life, drugs, rock and roll, burglaries and robberies to pay for life, That culminated in a fistfight with a cop, as they thought we had kidnapped a guy, but in reality we were just keeping him from walking out into the traffic in a stupor.That landed me in the youth authority, a step up( down?) from juvenile hall. I had been there, off and on from the age of 12, mostly as a chronic runaway and petty thief...nobody hires 12 year olds. That is all neither here nor there, just a thought that popped in to visit.
The runaway thing is what I have done since the age of 2 years old, not sure why, maybe always looking for the "greener grass". I seriously ran away every other day or so, starting at age 2, we lived with my maternal grandparents, and the paternal ones lived  halfway down the block. Everyday I would sneak out and hop on my trusty tricycle ( after stripping off every stitch of clothing,....such a rebel !) and peddle down to the other grams house. She would always ask if they knew I was there and of course I lied and said yes. She would then phone down the block and tell them I was there again.I out grew that wandering when we moved out to the "country", when I was about 3 1/2,( the naked wandering , not wandering) where my grandfather owned an avocado ranch.There were only 3 houses in the vacinity, and my brother and I would wander all over the hills to our hearts content, no one else was around most of the time. There were religious fanatics that lived down the hill from us...seriously cultish types, I still remember going to their house and we had to read out of the bible,(I could read by age 2 , all of my mothers children could) they did it daily and more than once.I quite liked their dog, a big English Springer Spaniel, named Malley..weird the stuff you can remember so many years later. I remember the kids that lived there, but not too well, there was a boy and girl that were both older than my brother and I , he being a little closer to their ages.Everyday that stupid cult kid would mouth off until my brother beat the crap out of him ...they must have been 6 or 7 at that time.I don't remember the girl just that she was there, don't know any of the names, except the dogs. Down across the street were a couple more kids, pretty old to us, probably 10 or 12. Their father was an undertaker, that's all I remember about them. The best part of living there was almost total freedom to come and go as I pleased, and this could be miles, no one bothered us.Dunno why, but wandering is ingrained in me, don't know what the hell I'm looking for, just adventure, probably, or to get away from me( that is highly likely) Okay ,that is enough disjointed rambling for today...I think I will write more stuff tomorrow, or not, I am a person of good intentions, not schedules!


I have this thing for shoes...

and I love high topped tennis shoes(aka trainers) So you know I couldn't resist these bad babies! They are kinda wide in the body so you can tuck jeans in them, plus there is an unzipped zipper in the back, 'cos you know I am much to lazy to lace, unlace, relace .I wonder why they didn't think to use speed laces like my lumberjack boots have?