19.10.09

Almost Halloween( yay!!!!)

I can't believe it has been over a month since I posted a blog, but things are just busy right now, with constant house cleaning on the of chance that someone will come by and want to look at it or maybe even,"gasp" want to buy it! Things were going along swimmingly until last Thursday, and my least favorite person in the world came over for dinner, as everyone does on a typical Thursday night, and tripped over her feet and broke her hip...almost 6 years to the day her late husband did the same thing. Except he wasn't trying to be cute and sucking down the Drambuie when he fell.He didn't make it through the night when he had his surgery...she had hers Saturday and the surgery went well, except that she is not doing so well, last night they wanted to put her on a ventilator but we said no, but did let them give her a vasopressor to kick up her blood pressure.Then, today they gave her 2 units of blood to also help it up. She is a full no code, she knows what that is and has expressed her desire for no heroics.My husband told them today, no more stuff, just make her comfortable. She has been mostly incoherent and not waking up much and we are not sure how with it she is when she does. She is 95, has a pacemaker that needs to be replaced,but the docs won't do it because chances are she will not make it thru that. a knee that was replaced 20+ years ago that was supposed to last for 10 years...it is also the same leg where she just had the ball joint replaced. Her heart only works to a 15% capacity without the pacemaker and she has been trying to die since 1975...it's time to let her go! She had a very major heart attack in '75 and they didn't think she would make it, then about 18 years ago she was in a head on collision, with her side of the car taking the major hit. They didn't think she would make it thru that one, either. She can't hear very well, even with her hearing aid, can barely see, and after this she won't be able to indulge in her favorite pastime...shopping. My husband is her only child and he has a hard time understanding why people can't fathom that he has no problem with her just going to sleep. He says it's a good time, since she is not concious of what is going on, last time she was in the hospital she was terrified she was going to die...

3 comments:

Furtheron said...

I think she is indistructable - if you could bottle that just think how many would clamber to buy it... maybe though they'd regret it, like you say there is a right time to let someone go

Gardenia said...

Oh my, first, sorry you are going through that! At 95, she has pretty much lived her life. I know for some its hard to let go, but living a life that is so impaired is not fun, either. It is a miracle she was putzing around on two feet drinking drambui at 95! Also I think statistics show that most elderly who break their hips die within a year. Why, I don't know. They are also saying, its usually the hip that breaks, then the fall, not the fall breaking the hip. So weird this is your second go around!

My grandma broke the odds, but she was in her 70's when she suffered a broken hip. She was traveling in New Mexico and ended up in a hospital where they did sex change operations. Being a peson who loved a juicy story, she had a good time despite the trauma and met some interesting people. She lived to 101, with the other hip being replaced when she was 90, but she started saying she wanted to die and get it over with when she hit 95 because she was becoming so frail.

I think your husband's mother is on the way out, the way it sounds. Sounds cold of me, but the more people around me I've seen die, I see it is a process...after age 60, I think we are in the process - it only accelerates the older we can't. Can't say I'm not a bit fearful of the process - I say I have such super faith, but right on the brink? I dunno how I'll feel.

At any rate, accompanying someone through this process is very hard on a person, you guys will be in my thoughts.

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